REPORT for TOWNHOUSE

REPORTERS at computers. Around the perimeter are glass-partitioned offices and meeting rooms. Inside one of the offices is BECKY, the Lifestyle editor of the Sun. Shes at a table with Annie, now a reporter for the section, and two other colleagues KEITH and WYATT. Wyatt is playing Gameboy.KEITHThis man sells the greatest soup youve ever eaten, theres a line around the block, and he is, I am not kidding, the meanest man in America.(beat)I feel strongly about this, Becky. This is not just about soup.BECKYDo it. What else?WYATTNew Years Eve. Please dont make me write

REPORTERS at computers. Around the perimeter are glass-partitioned offices and meeting rooms. Inside one of the offices is BECKY, the Lifestyle editor of the Sun. Shes at a table with Annie, now a reporter for the section, and two other colleagues KEITH and WYATT. Wyatt is playing Gameboy.KEITHThis man sells the greatest soup youve ever eaten, theres a line around the block, and he is, I am not kidding, the meanest man in America.(beat)I feel strongly about this, Becky. This is not just about soup.BECKYDo it. What else?WYATTNew Years Eve. Please dont make me write

for me?What are you talking about?How about Howard Johnsons?I bought you food and coffeenight after night!Youre crazy.You didnt get me anything.- I bought my coffee.- You never bought anything!I did things for youthat no money can buy.How about whenI gave you my spot?I let you getright next to Jerry!I waited for eight hours.You were crying becauseyou wanted next to Jerry.You got next to him!What about givingyou my last album.of The Best of Jerry!I didnt evenask you for money.and I cant even pay my rent!I live in a hovel.You live in a townhouse!OK, you want

for an x-ray of HannibalLecter. I dont want to wait for you tosend it, I want to pick it up now.The dime drops. Just a fleeting spark of realization.PROPRIETORNo, if you paid me ten thousand dollarsfor an x-ray of Hannibal Lector, I wouldpossess a money order, or cashiers check,for ten thousand dollars, which I do not.You bid ten thousand dollars for anx-ray of Hannibal Lecter. Ive decided,in the interim, not to sell it. Yourefree to write a nasty comment about meon the e-Bay message board.STARLINGIm free to write a nasty comment aboutyou on your arrest report.PROPRIETOR

report.CATESAre you gonna tell me about policeprocedure? Do me a favor, dontgive me a bunch of crap.YOUNG COPI guess when two cops die onaccount of your fuck up you wantto keep it as quiet as possible.Cates loses it for a second, lands on him with both hands,pushes him against a wall. The room goes quiet. Cates coolsdown.CATESJust shut the fuck up.The other cops dont intervene. They just watch. Cates coolsdown, straightens up. HADEN walks by, or, rather, speeds by.HADENCates, Ill need to see you infive minutes, exactly five.The Old Cop hands Cates a gun, a traditiona