THE LAW OF THE LID

the White House.Whatever you say, Mr. McCain.Vince McCain. Im the son.This way. You are?Willa Weston.Im here to manage WOCT networks.And you are vice presidentof marketing.Yes, but mostly I justwait for my father to die.What was that thingabout the White House?I was just changinghis perception of the situation.First law of marketing.So, what would you like to know aboutthe most powerful man alive?Around here, hes knownas Rod Almighty.Wait right here.He called me.Ill be right out.He called me.Hi, Neville. Hows it going?Rods busy.Yes. Yes.Oh, yeah! Oh, God.

the onewho taught you that stuff.As a matter of fact, you did, yes.Just have fun with her, David.Play with her.Thats what she needs.(chain rattling)(raindrops pattering)CLERK:These are beginner rods.(sports broadcast plays indistinctly)Lets see. two rods,$ . each.(clerk mumbling)Plus bait and tackle.Sheriff.You parked in a handicap zone.Oh, I didnt even realize.Could you give me a break?I didnt realize.Enjoy your day.Eh, so much forsmall townhospitality, honey.- Shut the door.- We broke the law.I know we broke the law.Shut the door.DAVID:The Loch Ness Mo

The moron who tore up my fence!Hes alive.Ray, get me off!You sick thing!Lucy, I dont wantthat con man in my house!There has to be some kindof rational explanation for this.Ray! We have got a poltergeist!Its nothing the police cant handle.Bannister.Dr. Lynskey, Im on my way.Persistent residue of the departed.Always a problem this time of year.Thank you.Thank you for coming.The activity is located where?I dont know. It went quietabout minutes ago.Went quiet?The dining room table spunin a counterclockwise direction?I dont think that happened.The toilet seat lidbang

the well-known unmarried half-a-millionaire.- Gonna marry him yourself?- Why, Mr Sullivan,whatever put sucha preposterous idea into my head?Your head.If you want a law abolished,jury swayed or toenails polishedJust leave everything to meIf you want your liver tested,glasses made, cash investedJust leave everything to meIf you want your children coddled,corsets boned or furs remodelledOr some nice, fresh fricasseeIf you want your bustle shifted,wedding planned or bosom liftedDont be ashamed, girls!Life is full of secrets and I keep em!Ill discreetly use my own discretion

Eddie Izzard: Glorious Script(Siren)Well, Times Square.I just had to do a show right hereand its brilliant to do it in Times Squarebecause theres always a bunch of peoplewho can hang aroundand watch me talk complete rubbish.(d Suede: Filmstar)D Filmstar, propping up the bard Driving in a car, it looks so easyd Filmstar, propping up the bard Driving in a car tonight dIve lost my comedy!- (Phone)- Hello?- Youve gotta be on the edge.- Theres no one at the fire station.Some people are not on the edge,theyre right on the lid.(Deep male voice)As youve never seen him.Y