영문 My First Mister 마이 퍼스트 미스터 영화 대사

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  • 2015.06.27 / 2015.06.27
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My First Mister Script
Red rain.
Death touched her lips
as she kissed her lover good-bye.
She tried not to touch his skin...
knowing the coldness
would chill her.
As it was...
she still hadnt cried...
nor had she decided
who was in the better position.
The end.
I wrote that.
Im a fucking poet.
When Im not writing poems...
Im writing eulogies.
Mine.
- Yeah? Oh, yeah?
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Take it easy, fellas.
- My mother...
a shirley partridge wanna-be...
would like for me
to go to dental school.
I cant imagine spending every day
dealing with other peoples spit.
Somehow, I just dont think
Im the type.
I think its just horrible...
the amount of confusion
and angst...
that we teenage girls have to endure
regarding our apparel.
I mean, it takes a lot of time
to mix and match.
I think every girl
should be provided...
Im sitting in writing class,
surrounded by alien creatures...
with pretentious names
like ashley...
cody.
Im not really into people.
Anyway, I think that if everyone
just drove the same car...
that it would put an end...
to envy and jealousy...
and carjackings.
All right, ash.
Thank you.
Okay, ashley.
Thank you.
Lets see whos next.
Jennifer wilson.
My parents named me
jennifer anne wilson.
My middle name
is because someone is dead.
I dont really have a passion
for the name jennifer...
so I refer to myself as j.
I dont think of myself
as a teenage girl or a woman.
Im just the opposite of a boy.
J, your bio was cool.
It moved me.
You look like those cool vjs
they get off the street on mtv.
You totally rock.
If I brought you home,
my mom might hemorrhage.
Do you wanna maybe
go have sushi?
Im a lesbian.
Im okay with that.
Once, when I was
i thought I was a lesbian.
The question of my generation:
To dive...
or not to dive.
But this one day,
my mom took me to her gym.
She stuck me in the steam room
with a bunch of women...
posing as elephants.
Cured me of doubt.
Now I masturbate to a picture
of freddie prinze, jr...
and Im quite certain
of my sexual preference.
Im cooking a brisket
for dinner tonight.
A woman needs to eat blood
every now and again.
She just really does.
Oh, no, its my musicals.
When I have a brand-new hairdo
with my eyelashes
all in curls
i think my mother
was deeply affected by the divorce.
I enjoy being a girl
when men say Im cute
and funny
and my teeth arent teeth
but pearls
i just lap it up like honey
i enjoy being a girl
stop that.
Dad, the sperm that bore me,
cheated on mom.
Blah, blah, blah.
Mom remarried.
I think his name is bob.
Hi, jennifer.
Surprise!
Surprise, jen!
- Cosmopolitan.
- Tomorrows our big day.
Brisket in half an hour.
Jen, its best when its hot.
Baby?
Baby!
Briskets ready!
Time to celebrate
your graduation, honey.
- Briskets all ready.
- Vintage tvrocks.
What I wouldnt give to live
with the partridge family.
I think shirley
would really get me.
I like chocolate.
- Its dark and warm.
- Come here, baby.
Like what I imagine
a hug would be like.
- Doesnt sound friendly to me.
- Wanna look like a dope, go ahead.
- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- Yeah! Yeah!
Ill meet you at the table.
Shes coming.
Takes her a while, thats all.
Takes her a while.
Employment...
sucks.
But I just need enough cash
to get my own place.
I need help, someone.
Hello!
Oh, thank god!
I got these pants caught
on my earring. Bad pain.
Bad pain.
All right.
Do you have one?
No, not there.
You should get one.
It makes sex amazing.
You have one here?
No, not there either.
You dont know
what youre missing.
Well, Im not the one
with a pair of dead mans pants...
hanging from my labia.
"It makes sex amazing. Ow!"
Maybe I should get
some more piercings.
Im not busy.
What is sex anyway?
If memory serves...
technically
Im still a virgin.
There was this one day
in third grade...
when matthew kingsley came over
and we played doctor.
He confused my vagina
with my anus...
and took my temperature
with a fire-engine red crayon.
From then on,
whenever Id hear a siren...
Id giggle.
I never had a boyfriend.
I dont know what Id do
with one if I did.
Guys like calvin klein
g-string ad girls.
I wear boxers.
I once had an orgasm, though.
With myself.
I think.
Im gonna go to hell anyway.
J! Yo, j!
Eulogy number .
She was loved by no one.
She chose indifference
as her state of mind.
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